Celebrities…they’re just like us! Except for the millions of dollars, hot babes, cool cars, and 100-foot yachts. Save for a few extra lucky silver spoon in their mouths celebrities, most of the Hollywood Glitterati has had to work for what they have. And I’m not talking about embarrassing gigs like a national penile dysfunction ad. No, I’m talking about jobs that are so humiliating, so degrading, so downright terrible that the celebs who worked these demeaning jobs actually deserve all the riches they have now. I thought my first job (serving frozen custard to snot faced kids at a child’s birthday party place) was demeaning, but that seems glamorous compared to what some of the world’s highest paid people used to do. 

The Restaurant Jobs (and how much they pay now):

• Gwen Stefani used to work at Dairy Queen ($7.98/ hour)

• Jennifer Hudson and Queen Latifah used to work at Burger King ($7.64/ hour)

• Barack Obama and Julia Roberts both worked at Baskin Robbins ($8.00/ hour)

• Brad Pitt used to dress up like a chicken for El Pollo Loco ($8.59/ hour)

• Eva Mendes sold hot dogs at Hot Dog on a Stick ($6/ hour) [side note: is that even minimum wage?)

• Rachel McAdams, James Franco, and Pink all worked at McDonald’s ($7.79/ hour)

• Madonna worked at Dunkin’ Donuts and was fired for squirting jelly at a customer ($7.86/ hour)

The Service Jobs (and how much they pay now):

• Nicole Kidman used to be a massage therapist ($19.40/ hour)

• Cory Monteith used to be a door greeter at Walmart ($8.90/ hour)

• Johnny Depp was a pen salesman which is a commission based job and apparently Depp was a terrible pen salesman

• Kanye West used to work at Gap and even rapped about it on his song “Spaceship” ($9.00/ hour)

The Really Odd Jobs (and how much they pay now):

• Jake Johnson used to sell burritos out of a van (and I don’t know how to find the hourly wage for a van burrito salesman…)

• Jon Hamm was once a set dresser for porno films AND he taught high school drama. Hopefully he didn’t get those two gigs confused. (Set dresser: $15.00/ hour, High school drama teacher: $45,000/ per year)

• Hugh Jackman used to dress up a clown entertainer for children’s birthday parties ($40/ hour)

• Amy Adams used to be a Hooters girl ($3.49/ hour plus tips)

• Channing Tatum used to work as a male stripper. I highly recommend you see his film Magic Mike if you want more information about his stripping career. You know, like watch it for um, research… ($50/ hour)

So the next time you’re counting down the hours to quitting time or planning ways to extort your boss, remember, these celebs had it way worse than you. Unless, of course, you have to dress up like a chicken on a daily basis or dress people on porn sets. Which, honestly, what kind of clothing do you have to wear for a porno? Doesn’t that kind of defeat the purpose? I bet it’s a pretty easy gig. Maybe it’s time I find a new job…